Well.......
I guess I'm gettin on this blog train. Recently it's come to my attention that I am the worst communicator on the planet. I think I'm doing an OK job only to find out that I have been leaving many with a bad impression. This will be my attempt to give insight to my MO to maybe shed light on why I act the way I do with the hope that I may improve myself so that what I feel and think is actually what is being understood. To date I've done a very poor job. I will soon prepare a game plan as to how I'm going to do that. I've always felt that I can organize my thoughts and intentions better on paper. Heres to transparency!
7 comments:
Welcome to the blog world. LOVE the picture. The background . . . looks like paradise. And the poncho, so stylish. I disagree with your comment that it is against God's teachings to ever be offended. It is against God's teachings to not forgive. And true forgiveness does not happen instantly. It's a process. If you try and skip the process you're going to have a big, dark chasm underneath a happy go lucky veneer. And, if it makes you feel any better, you may not be the best communicator but you are a very good listener, in a way. I've always felt I could tell you anything, not that I've wanted to.
I agree in the process of forgiveness but that process is only required after you were offended. If you are offended and upset, then you must take the proper steps and let go. However, if you could eventually come to the realization that being offended is not condusive to the Spirit and therefore not what you should be feeling, then you're that much better off. Too often we say and do things while we are offended that we can't take back. True self control and a proper eternal perspective will allow you to not be offended in the first place. It is only because of God's teachings of forgiveness that we learn to eventually not repeat the offense.
Sometimes, yes, we can be too sensitive or ignorant or whatever and getting offended in the first place is dumb. But sometimes the offense is so painful that there is no choice to not be offended--you simply are. I don't think God faults us for this. He expects us to forgive--and that is a process.
If the offense you are speaking of is of an evil nature, then yes. The scriptures do teach to abhor sin but not the sinner. Still, no exception has been made any where I know of that teaches we have the "right" to be offended at the individual. God's Plan of Salvation gives us a path to overcome things we shouldn't do only to eventually forsake sin altogether. We should all strive to one day have the capacity to love our brothers and sisters the way our Father does. I don't believe that someone who is offended by an other's actions is inherently bad, just contrary to God's teachings in that particular moment. To truly be forgiven is to forgive and forsake. We have not completed the entire process the Atonement offers if we continue to repeat holding on to feelings that are not conducive to the Spirit. Am I communicating my feelings poorly or are we disagreeing?
I think we're disagreeing. Being offended is not a sin. When we go through the process of forgiving someone we aren't necessarily repenting--we're forgiving. It is a process God gave us to heal and be like him. God gets offended--the scriptures talk about that all the time. God also has to forgive. It's probably a process for Him too. I do agree with you that people are at fault when they do and say mean, destructive things when they get offended. That is a sin. But I'm talking about the FEELING of being offended. And honestly communicating that feeling is fine, in my opinion.
Most people would find our discussion to be a little nuts but I truly enjoy it. I agree that expressing to someone that you feel offended is good and is not a sin. I am speaking of being offended to where your feelings have caused you to make judgement and you no longer can be influenced by the Spirit. Semantics, semantics. Ultimately I am referring to self control. Handling the feelings that you are speaking of in the way you suggest is being in control of yourself. Who says there is no need to split hairs?!
As to your comments about what God does when he feels offended is a bit off. I'll get into the nature of God on another day and topic. Until then you should read All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience by Neal A. Maxwell. It took me like three days so you should be able to do it in one sitting. It clarifies many assumptions that many of us LDS members have erroneously made in relation to the nature and temperament of God.
Apparently there are different degrees of offense. Part of being offended is making a judgment, whether righteously or not. Part of forgiveness requires us to overcome our own judgment--to submit ourselves to God and his judgment. As for not having the Spirit, it takes a lot of festering for that to happen--and not communicating an offense can allow that festering to occur. I think that often, when we are offended God sends his Spirit to comfort us.
I'm not sure what I said that made you think my understanding of God being offended is a bit off. God gets offended as in 3 Ne 28:35 "And it would be better for them if they had not been born. For do ye suppose that ye can get rid of the justice of an offended God, who hath been trampled under feet of men, that thereby salvation might come?" And got forgives as in Mosiah 4:10 "And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them." It seems rather straight forward to me. God follows the same laws he gives us. I would like to read that book though.
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