I've had several conversations over the past few years with several friends about trying to keep an eternal perspective. I am so blessed to have so many friends and family members that have such admirable faith. I wanted to share some of the things that I have learned from the conversations I've had. They are as follows:
1. Forgiveness is unconditional. We as disciples of Christ have made a commitment to forgive all and love all despite their behavior. Often times we seek to feel justified in reacting to our hurt feelings because of how offended we feel. If we can not make a decision that is motivated by Christ's love, is it the right one? Our relationship with Christ dictates our self control. If we distance ourselves from Christ with our anger, despair, and faithlessness we distance ourselves that much further from making the right decision.
2. Time does matter. The longer we hold on to feelings that are not conducive to the Spirit, the longer it will take to get back to Christ. When we say to ourselves that we are not ready to forgive because we are still upset, we are only following the adversary's path to destruction. A proper relationship and faith in Christ and His Atonement will give you the capacity to forgive as quickly as the offensive feelings you feel entered your conscience. God alone may judge. Don't be fooled into thinking that you can play God.
3. Forgiveness does not mean things stay the same. The world would have you believe that when you forgive someone you must accept their behavior. The Lord would not have you remain with those who would jeopardize your salvation. It is crucial that we make decisions filled with God's love and perspective and that we not be afraid of where that may bring us. Sometimes to love someone the way God would is to distance yourself from them. I believe that in regards to divorce, it can only be through faithful prayer and pondering that a decision can be made. Every effort to remain sealed should be sought. I believe that a decision of divorce can only be made after the deciding individual can say that he or she still loves his or her spouse the way our Heavenly Father does and feels inspired to do so. We must make sure that we are not motivated by fear, pain, and sadness but be guided by peace, love, and charity.
4. Life should be hard. The quest for easy things in life makes one weak and ill prepared for what makes us stronger. Trials and tribulations alone are not an indication that your life is headed down the wrong path. God entrusts His children with difficulty and challenges to prepare them for what lays ahead. We are not to abandon those we go through trials with hoping that they were the cause of it. We should study the lives of those that we admire and more than often we will see that their lives were filled with challenges and tragedies that the world would have you believe are not worth passing through. Remember that the adversary would have you seek what makes you feel complacent. It is not necessary that we become evil to not live with God, just lazy.
5. Happiness can be constant. I've found that my happiness is conditional with my relationship with Christ alone. A few years ago were the darkest of times temporally but I found that as I cast my burdens to the feet of my Lord, I was filled with joy and peace. It didn't matter what my circumstances were because I had found peace. Peace is what the Lord gives us to know that He is with us through all times. Our temporal condition is subject to the Lord only. We are not to think that we are going through good times because we somehow are entitled to it any more than we should think that we are being cursed by passing through trials. The sooner we realize that our happiness is up to us and not our circumstances, the sooner we'll come to enjoy all aspects of our life.
1. Forgiveness is unconditional. We as disciples of Christ have made a commitment to forgive all and love all despite their behavior. Often times we seek to feel justified in reacting to our hurt feelings because of how offended we feel. If we can not make a decision that is motivated by Christ's love, is it the right one? Our relationship with Christ dictates our self control. If we distance ourselves from Christ with our anger, despair, and faithlessness we distance ourselves that much further from making the right decision.
2. Time does matter. The longer we hold on to feelings that are not conducive to the Spirit, the longer it will take to get back to Christ. When we say to ourselves that we are not ready to forgive because we are still upset, we are only following the adversary's path to destruction. A proper relationship and faith in Christ and His Atonement will give you the capacity to forgive as quickly as the offensive feelings you feel entered your conscience. God alone may judge. Don't be fooled into thinking that you can play God.
3. Forgiveness does not mean things stay the same. The world would have you believe that when you forgive someone you must accept their behavior. The Lord would not have you remain with those who would jeopardize your salvation. It is crucial that we make decisions filled with God's love and perspective and that we not be afraid of where that may bring us. Sometimes to love someone the way God would is to distance yourself from them. I believe that in regards to divorce, it can only be through faithful prayer and pondering that a decision can be made. Every effort to remain sealed should be sought. I believe that a decision of divorce can only be made after the deciding individual can say that he or she still loves his or her spouse the way our Heavenly Father does and feels inspired to do so. We must make sure that we are not motivated by fear, pain, and sadness but be guided by peace, love, and charity.
4. Life should be hard. The quest for easy things in life makes one weak and ill prepared for what makes us stronger. Trials and tribulations alone are not an indication that your life is headed down the wrong path. God entrusts His children with difficulty and challenges to prepare them for what lays ahead. We are not to abandon those we go through trials with hoping that they were the cause of it. We should study the lives of those that we admire and more than often we will see that their lives were filled with challenges and tragedies that the world would have you believe are not worth passing through. Remember that the adversary would have you seek what makes you feel complacent. It is not necessary that we become evil to not live with God, just lazy.
5. Happiness can be constant. I've found that my happiness is conditional with my relationship with Christ alone. A few years ago were the darkest of times temporally but I found that as I cast my burdens to the feet of my Lord, I was filled with joy and peace. It didn't matter what my circumstances were because I had found peace. Peace is what the Lord gives us to know that He is with us through all times. Our temporal condition is subject to the Lord only. We are not to think that we are going through good times because we somehow are entitled to it any more than we should think that we are being cursed by passing through trials. The sooner we realize that our happiness is up to us and not our circumstances, the sooner we'll come to enjoy all aspects of our life.
12 comments:
Those are interesting perspectives, but I can't say I agree fully with all of them. I firmly believe that some things are black and white, but some things are not.
What does that mean??!! I speak of both absolutes and grays. I don't want Obamaisms. I want specifics!
Something I learned in this month's Ensign is that in order to forgive someone you must pray for them, pray for those who despitefully use you. I don't know why it took me this long to have that click with me--other than the obvious, I am rather puffy with pride. But you know, it really is hard to hold on to bitterness when you are praying for your "enemy." I agree with everything you said except when you said that you can get rid of offended feelings quickly. I still contend that is not always God's way. It can sometimes be a long process. I am really starting to feel and see God's will for me. It brings me so much peace and comfort despite so much hardship. I love God. I love Christ. I love his Atonement. Wow. This stuff is amazing. Woman is that she might have joy. Brian, keep the Obamaisms coming. Love em.
Chan-
I think we're trying to compare apples and oranges. I know that feelings may never go away. Anger and resentment on the other hand are never productive tools of the Holy Ghost. Ridding yourself of hurt feelings is not related to full and complete forgiveness. I feel that those feelings stay with us at times to always serve as a reminder of what we don't want to go through again. Even after Alma the younger had served the Lord for many years, the feelings he had when thinking of his painful past racked his soul. I think that feelings are part of the consequence of sin and that is unavoidable. You feel me?
My points of disagreement were as follows:
1) I believe you are entitled to feelings. They happen whether you want them or not. People with anxiety problems can attest to this. If you want to find unhappiness, try suppressing or denying the feelings you feel. You're brain can be a terrible weapon to torpedo your own happiness when it tries to rationalize or think away or invalidate your feelings. They are what they are, like it or not. That said, whether or not you indulge in your impulses is separate.
2) Not only do I think fear and pain can be grounds for a divorce, but I am willing to help a person feeling those things in escaping. Abuse - in its various forms - is wrong, evil, and openly condemned by recent prophetic counsel. Even if a spouse is not "unfaithful" in an adulterous sense, if he is beating his wife or children, they have a RIGHT to flee. It isn't absolute, just like the notion of absolutely no abortion, but it is rare for an abusive spouse to come around - especially if they have had opportunities before. There is no honor or dignity in subjecting yourself to that crap for any reason. Run, and maybe rabbit punch the jerk on the way out, I say.
p.s. I really hope Obamaism makes into American vernacular for the very meaning you meant. That'll show him...
it actually won't, but maybe it will perturb him a little to make him substantiate his hollow words.
Andy, I disagree about feelings not going away. Alma was not racked with torment in remembering his sins - he remembered how he was racked with torment when faced with his sins. Then, with forgiveness, came the sweet joy, and from their on out it was that joy that he kept with him.
The Atonement covers all feelings completely. Just because it may take years and years and years for those feelings to go away doesn't mean that those years are spent at odds with the will of the Lord or without the presence of the Holy Ghost. I agree with Chanda - the Lord's will may lead through those feelings esp. if we use them to humble ourselves.
Also, when the change in feelings comes, it is through the Atonement. We actually can't (in my opinion) change the feelings on our own. (We can certainly change our response to them - props Bri!) But when the Lord changes them, the change is complete. We can remember the old feelings, sure, but we don't have to experience them anymore. Just remembering, even pondering them, can be the deterrent from sin. Feelings as a consequence of sin are unavoidable, but not necessarily permanent.
Brian -
Where do your points listed above contradict mine posted?
Babe -
I stand corrected. It is true that Alma could remember his sins no more. Alma in recounting his life's journey to his son, recalled how he used to feel. I agree. The overpowering effect of the Atonement can and will take those feelings away.
I believe that what I was trying to communicate was that consequences are unavoidable and that the experiences from those hardships can serve as a reminder of what we don't want to go through again.
Well, then, I agree with you.
Ruggy Rugg- You preach like Moses...with power and conviction!
Thanks T-Nic! Just trying to keep the West alive.
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